Avoiding the College Frenzy
As the pathologically anxious mother of tenth grade son, I hyperventilate at the sound of the word "college." Is he enrolled in the right classes? Do last year's grades count in his GPA? Should he be taking a test prep course? Will it look bad on his record if he switches from French to Spanish? Is it better to have an A in a regular class or a B in an honors class? And how can he learn more about colleges than their basketball tournament standings?
If you find yourself similarly afflicted, take a deep breath. Hysterical parents cause more harm than help. Children do need our help to make informed decisions, but they don't need to sacrifice their youth to the pursuit of the Ivy League. Over the past 20-something years of teaching high school kids who went on to many different campuses, I have learned a great deal about this process, most importantly that there are many paths to higher education. Now if the parent in me can only remember what I have learned when it comes to my own child.
Beginning in 8th grade, the choice of classes is important. If at all possible, students should take algebra in eighth or ninth grade followed by geometry. Some high schools offer a series of integrated math courses that include the same topics addressed in the two more traditional courses. These integrated classes meet the University of California A-F entrance requirements. Though it is sometimes an effort to keep teenagers motivated to take challenging coursework as juniors and seniors, and though few high schools require that students take 4 years of math, you should apply gentle pressure to keep your child progressing in math as far as possible. Typically students who begin algebra in the eighth grade take calculus in the twelfth.
Without this strong foundation in math, tests like the PSAT, SAT, and ACT pose enormous challenges. Sitting for the PSAT will be the first experience most students have of this kind of exam. It makes good sense to take it for practice in the fall of their sophomore year. This score is meaningless except to give your child a feeling for where he falls within the range of students who apply to college. Students who do well on the test begin receiving letters from colleges inviting them to learn more about the campus. It is heady mail for a 15-year-old to collect.
Students who do poorly on the PSAT have an early warning signal that they have work to do. When results of the test arrive, take time to read the whole packet. You get back much more than a simple score. Results are broken down by item, and you can see exactly what areas of math, reading, or writing mechanics your child is weak in. From this you can determine whether it a matter of learning better test-taking strategies or whether there are key pieces missing in your child’s education.
Test-taking strategies are easy to learn, and many students benefit from enrolling in test-prep courses. But before you send off $800 to the Princeton Review or Kaplan, check to see if your local public school offers free or low-cost Saturday workshops. You can also buy any one of many PSAT or SAT preparation books on the market today. Everything your child needs to know about the tests is in these guides, but of course the difficulty is getting normal, flighty teenagers to sit down and work through the practice exams on their own. It may help to purchase the computer version.
In California we are enormously fortunate to have so much to choose from among the many community colleges, California State, and University of Californiacampuses. Somewhere in this system is a schoolÑor combination of schoolsÑfor every child and every pocketbook. I often remind students as they are deciding whether to put themselves and their parents into debt for the next 10 years that no one ever asks where you began your college career but only where you graduated. And a student will be better off applying to graduate school with an A average from Cal State Northridge than a C average from Berkeley.
If you remain calm through the college application process, so will your child. Visit campuses and look at more than the architecture. Strike up conversations with random students. Attend a few classes. But most importantly, listen to your child. What does he want from a college? Which environment feels right? It's tempting to equate our achievement as parents with our children's college acceptance letters. Let's break this yuppie cycle and focus on what's best for the individual child. Time to take a deep breath.